Mutual Expectations Talk for Housemates
It is important to discuss a wide variety of details with any prospective housemate before you each know if the living arrangement will be a good...
Beginnings of a homesharing experience are important. They hold the potential to form a solid foundation for a great relationship. It’s important to treat your new housemate relationship with tenderness and care, while also setting the tone for the future you’d like to create. In other words, start off on the right foot in order to lay the tracks for a successful and sustainable living situation!
Once your housemate has had a few days to settle in, invite them to join you in building shared guidelines for how you’d each like to live together. Home is an important place, where we must feel safe and free to be ourselves. Boundaries and guidelines can help foster a sense of safety for both parties, but only when they are created together.
Here's a checklist for designing your Home Sweet Shared Home™. We encourage you to go through it with your housemate, and feel free to change it to make it your own.
The more you and your new housemate communicate up front, the easier it will be to navigate disagreements when they arise (and they naturally will). While none of us is perfect, the good news is that humans are wired to find compassion for one another. If handled well, disagreements, hurt feelings and mistakes can create a deeper level of understanding between housemates. Potentially hard moments can turn into opportunities to bond and become closer.
Here are some simple guidelines for maintaining open communication with your housemate.
Part of communicating openly with your housemate is coming up with a shared understanding of how you want your home to function. Cover the bases early on so you both feel good about the shared space you're creating. Documenting your shared answers to the questions below can help you and your housemate prevent and address disagreements—and help you get the most out of your homesharing relationship.
Rent: When is rent due? What forms of payment are acceptable? How should it be delivered? Having this conversation up front makes it less uncomfortable to address again later.
Finally, agree to have regular check-ins about how the arrangement is going and if your shared agreements need any adjusting or negotiation. Making feedback a household norm will help keep balance. Feedback helps us learn, grow, get to know one another better, and become more comfortable in our shared home. Building in an expectation for open communication will benefit your homesharing relationship more than any other tactic.
Have homesharing agreement tips to add? Let us know in the comments!
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